Sometimes I’m a Slacker but sometimes my slacking is mostly just in cross promoting.

So we know I haven’t been posting here super consistently… still trying to get back in the swing of things.  I swear to god I can do the thing.  I did it for five months, posting almost every day.  Depression and anxiety can wreck a person I tell you.  I did however have consistant content elsewhere that needs to migrate over here.


In order to get myself back into the habit of blogging I am going to try and post something every day in September.  Will I succeed?  YES.  (I figure if I’m optimistic I might actually finish something I start.)  Will it all by mind blowing content… of course not.  I might choose to do something silly once … or twice. The goal is just to get myself used to doing this every day again.  To talking with you guys because I do miss it.  I just kind of panic and feel guilty.




Starting today … oh wait its still August for a few more days.  Starting …. THURSDAY!  I will have a post for you every day, even Sunday.  You know what … what the heck STARTING TODAY!  I got no reason not to start today.  You guys ready for all of the content?  Well too bad because its coming.


I need to put on my big girl pants and crack on.  Here we go!

P.S. I like the acronym B.E.D.S. for Blog Every Day in September because it feels safe and cozy.  What do you think?


Books, Musings

Betwixt the Books: Bookish Resolutions

Gretchen and I took the time to make another video for you guys in which we talk about all of our bookish and blog related goals for the year.  I hope you are excited because we are both trying something new for once.

If you missed my post yesterday wherein I gave my TBR for the reading challenge that Gretchen and I are participating in be sure to check that out!

I will leave this to past me and Gretchen now to tell you all about our plans!

I hope you enjoyed!

What are your reading resolutions?

I will be back with a comic review tomorrow so look forward to that!


Beautiful Booktubers!

I said last Monday that I wanted to make a post collecting and curating all of the booktubers who have made me excited about books recently.  I look up to these folks and they deserve a lot more subscribers than they currently have for the most part.

If you click their lovely faces it will take you to their YouTube channels so you can watch their videos and fall in love with them yourself.

1. Choncey Boddington – a.k.a. The Bookish Britette: She is a wonderfully smart individual who values literary analysis in her videos above all else.  She loves talking about the way that books work not just whether they were enjoyable or not.  The English Major in me loves this.  She also discusses her own experiences with Anorexia a fair amount and how she was able to beat it.  She is a brilliant role model and I wish so many more people would subscribe to her this very instant.

The lovely Jen Campbell is the author of several books including “The Bookshop Book” and “Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops”.  Not only is it clear through her videos that she really truly loves books, but she really and truly loves the booktube community.  I wouldn’t have found half the people on this list if it weren’t for her.  She is also incredibly imaginative and creative, having come up with three of my favorite book tags in the past couple of months.  If you like fairy tales or fairy tale retellings, you are kindred spirits and should probably check her out, but she reads all manners of literature from poetry, to contemporary fiction, to science fiction.

Lauren from the Channel Reads and Daydreams is incredibly well spoken.  She has a very calming quality to her, but when she dislikes a book that seems to be very popular she gets quite excited and energetic.  I love that she likes to discuss why it is a book didn’t appeal to her rather than just writing it off.  She wants to insight more discussion in the comments to hear what other people think.  I envy that by her because I always get quite defensive and don’t want others to shoot down my ideas, despite knowing that discussion can enlighten us to things we didn’t think about, or might not have picked up on, on our own.

Ashley from Climb the Stacks reads most Adult Contemporary Fiction.  She is on my feed quite a bit because she updates so often.  She has a voracious appetite for books that I wish I had more consistently.  She is another booktuber who will say both positive and negative reviews.  She speaks her mind, but I never feel that she is being antagonistic toward those who like the book.  She speaks in such a way that you are on her side, even if you disagree with her.  I would fear her if she ever decided to be a politician.

Mercedes from MercysBookishMusings is another of my new loves.  She reads mostly adult fiction, also some classics.  She speaks so eloquently about the books that she has read, or plans on reading.  She is one of those people who can tell me what a book is in such a way that I want to read it.  I always say how terrible I am at synopsis, she does not have that problem.  She also does a lot of tag videos, if you enjoy watching those!

Sabrina from unmanagedmischief is one that I have been watching for a while.  Not only does she read a lot of adult books, but she also reviews comics and graphic novels.  This years she has been focusing on a project that she calls the #yearofmurakami and did #japanesejune so if you are a fan of Japanese translated fiction she has a channel you really should check out.  I love how honest she is in her reviews.  If she dislikes something, she is going to tell you about it.

First male youtuber on this list is Jason.  He focuses a lot on Canadian Literature and is cofounder of the book club Hello Hemloch who spotlight #canlit.  For those who really love Canadian Literature or for those who feel they never get to see canadian authors spotlighted (like myself) he is a wonderful resource.  He also occaisonally posts music and has a lovely singing voice.  He seems so sweet and happy to me most of the time (#canstereotypes) that all of his videos brighten my day!

If you are looking to learn a bit about history, or literature theory then hope on over to RonLit.  I swear this girl is going to be a powerhouse professor.  I wish I wasn’t her contemporary and was just a generation younger so that I could be one of her pupils.  I make do by listening to her talk here on booktube.  She talks a lot about queer literature.  She has an abundant love for Jane Austen.  She talks a lot about women in literature, and women writing literature historically.  Just an all around really amazing lady!

To keep the Canada love going I want to talk about Candace at librarianfanmail.  She is such a lovely sweet person.  I may or may not have stolen her haircut.  I definitely brought a picture of her to the salon when I got my haircut. ( <.< ) What? Who said that? I recently read “Me and the Devil” by Nick Tosches based off her review.  While it wasn’t my favorite novel, there were a lot of elements that I really enjoyed and therefor want to take her suggestion to read some of his other work.  She doesn’t do reviews overly often but when she does they are always well composed and make me want to read books.  An admirable trait in librarian.

For those of you who really love Science Fiction and Fantasy you should head over to booksandpieces, where Elizabeth makes wonderfully quirky videos.  You will find costumes galore here.  She loves talking about the history of science fiction and fantasy as well as recommending great contemporary reads in the genre.  She is currently one of the hosts of the Booktube Science Fiction and Fantasy awards and they have a goodreads group that is discussing and voting on a lot of really great books that you should check out!

If you like quirky British booktubers than you should also check out Leena at justkissmyfrog.  This lovely lady is so enthusiastic.  She has interviewed so many really interesting and unique authors on her channel.  She read poetry.  She sings in bathtubs for goodness sake.  She likes to talk about the books that have touched her life and I think that is a great way to go about it.  If you aren’t subscribed to her, what are you doing with your life?  Go do it right now.

Another booktuber who does exclusively positive reviews is Clifford from betterthanfoodbookreviews.  Do not watch his show on an empty stomach… erm… empty brain?  It makes me hungry for books.  Not to eat them, but to read them.  As somebody who has been woefully underwhelmed with the books taught to me in during my undergrad education this guy is like making a seven course dinner while you stare in from the streets.  He makes every single book he talk about sound brilliant.  I have no doubts that they most likely are.  He just returned after a bit of a hiatus because he was in mourning of his Dads death.  If you ever need a good cry I recommend watching his tribute video to his father.  He is so smart, so charismatic, how could he not be with a name like his.

If you prefer less aggressive, softer spoken bookish men you should check out Christopher R. Alonso  He is currently about to start grad school for writing.  I can’t wait to read something he publishes.  He is a shier booktuber and doesn’t seem to quite believe in himself.  Something I can definitely relate to, although he is doing a step better than me by at least putting the videos out there.  He reads a lot of adult fiction.  He just showed that he was buddy reading The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss which is one of my favorite Fantasy novels, second only to its sequel.  You might not see him around very often but every time he shows up you know its going to be a video worth watching.

I wanted to finish this list off with a couple of bookish groups.  The first is a duo, Matt and Zoey from weliveforbooks.  These guys are such a great pair.  Zoey is extremely opinionated reader.  She will tell you exactly what she thinks and why that is.  Matt on the other hand is a bit softer but is incredibly smart.  The two together make for wonderful reviews.  Their videos always give me hope for something with my best friend in the future.  We have been talking about doing joint reviews much like Matt and Zoey do on their channel.  They are a definite channel you should check out if you haven’t already.

Finally I want to talk about The Marvelous Reading Room.  This channel started as a book club channel, much like my own, so it gives me hopes that my channel will have something in the future.  It is lead by Sunny and Amanda but features a bunch of their friends.  They like to shout out the upcoming releases each month and feature a short segment called 30 second book pitch where they try and sell you a book in 30 seconds or less.  It makes for entertaining little videos that don’t take much of your day at all.  They read primarily science fiction and fantasy but urban fantasy and contemporary fiction make its way into their laps sometimes too.  This is a really entertaining channel I suggest you check them out soon.

There are a lot more channels that I love but I have already given you fifteen.  If you really can’t wait you can always check out my recommended channels list.

On top of that this week is the booktubeathon and I am participating.  I posted a picture of my TBR on my instagram so you should head over there to check it out.  I don’t know whether I will be making any videos because I am rather booked this week with videos.  Tonight we have the hangout for Angelfall by Susan Ee, tomorrow night we will be discussing The Reality Bug, the fourth book in the Pendragon series.  Some time this week Taylor and Casey and I want to do a review of This Book is Full of Spiders by David Wong.  So many things on top of attempting to read seven books.  I have already finished one, and I plan to start another after book club tonight.

Are you guys participating this year?  If so what are you planning on reading.  Do you have an booktube channels I didn’t mention that you think I should check out?  Please let me know so that I can add more beautiful bookish people to my life.


On Youtube, and Booktube in particular

It’s like I’m a real blogger again.  Let’s see if I can maintain this.  I want to get back into this.  I care about it, even if nobody else really does.

I, over the past couple weeks, have been finding a lot of really great youtubers, particularly really great booktubers who, are not small in the sense that I am a small booktuber (even if all of my videos are bookclub videos does not mean I don’t contribute too, folks), have a couple thousand subscribers, or a couple hundred in some instances, but make really great content and seem really under-appreciated in my opinion.

The fact that it has taken me this long to find them is such a shame, because I have been missing out on people who could have shared really beautiful things with me.  They are small, and the youtube algorithm doesn’t want to show me small channels like the ones I watch.  It insists that I watch the bigger people who also make book videos and I’m sorry but I can’t.  I used to watch them, and there are a few who I still watch but when they got big, they all start talking about the same books and when I didn’t want to read those books any more listening to seven people say the same things about the same book was not entertaining or helpful to me.

So how did I find the people I currently like watching.  Through recommendations from the few booktubers that I still enjoyed watching.  I don’t really want to read YA books any more for the most part.  My friend and bookclub host Gretchen from My Life is a Notebook explained part of the problem in her recent rant here! but for myself I also don’t relate with those characters any more.  The biggest part of booktube relies on YA as a genre and that is because their audience is predominantly preteens and teen girls, for whom YA is the proper genre, but I am not that person and those books are no longer for me, (with some exceptions).

I have moved on to a part of booktube that is tiny and though they might not have as high quality production, they are filled with much greater quality content.  They make me want to read books.  They show me books I’ve never heard of.  I want to be that kind of booktuber.  I love sharing books that I found by chance.  I love reading little known books.  I don’t often get enjoyment out of sharing something that everyone else is also sharing.  It seems like a waste of time.  That doesn’t necessarily mean that I won’t read them, it just means that me adding my feeble words to the hundreds of shouts doesn’t make sense.

I have wanted to make videos for years and I just don’t have the confidence.  I’m going to work on it.  I have to make a video for our book club and if it works out and I’m able to do what I want I will try and make more where I discuss books.  Talking about books and hearing people talk about books is one of my great loves in life.  I want to contribute and not just consume.

I wish there was a way to find more great booktubers out there, but it is impossible without the bigger folks boosting the smaller ones.  I will trudge ever onwards.  Perhaps next week I will make a post wherein I discuss my new favorite booktubers and why I love them, but not today.  I have to clean my room today because it is a mess and its oppressing me at the moment.

I hope you guys have a lovely week coming up and I will talk to you again soon!

*Reminder that we will be discussing the third Pendragon book on bookclub tomorrow night most likely and next week we will discuss both the fourth Pendragon book and Angelfall by Susan Ee so read them if you can to join in our discussion.


#becritcal #readcritically

At the same time I was going through my YouTube subscriptions and cutting out the fat so to speak I was listening to Ariel Bisett and Barry Pierce’s live show discussions in which they discussed many things and many posts will be born but specifically I want to talk about the topic of reading critically.  Toward the end of last week Barry suggested a new twitter hashtag of “#becritical“.  He was speaking in terms of those who review book on YouTube but why not bring it into the blogosphere.  I’m a little late to the party but it got me thinking and so I wanted to join the discussion as well.


Let’s start with my first introduction to the topic, one of the things that Ariel brought up in her live show Q and A was giving honest reviews.  She mentioned how she sometimes will give a book more stars on Goodreads than she feels it deserves because she likes the author and would feel bad giving it the lower rating that might be more honest.  I know for a fact that I do this.  I boost my ratings for authors I really love but then that star rating isn’t accurate to how I felt about the book and people might get the wrong idea.  How can somebody trust my review if I am elevating an unworthy book?

(Never not funny)

Then Barry was discussing how a star rating is sort of a catch all to give people an opinion that doesn’t really say anything.  I gave it five stars, it was really good.  What does that mean, really?  I know for some books that my five stars means that although there were flaws with the book I really enjoyed the experience.  This was the case of Ready Player One for me.  I really love that book, and I had a bunch of problems with it, but they didn’t detract from my love of it (watch our book club video on it!).  Then there are other books where it just blew me away, like One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.  I just find that book perfect in every way, although my book club mates didn’t feel nearly the same way (see this as well!).

If that is five stars … and this is five stars … then what is five stars really? AM I FIVE STARS? ARE YOU?

This is why there needs to be a review or a discussion matched with those stars, the stars are meaningless on their own.  People need to say why they like a book because it allows others to gauge whether they would like that book as well.  People need to review critically.

We found the point.

Reading critically does not mean shredding a book and nit picking it to high heaven, it means thinking about what you read and what you thought of a book.  It means weighing the pros and cons and coming out at the end of it with an opinion, and being honest with your opinion.


I think that I will go into my Goodreads and go through my books to see how many opinions are honest as well as add a few sentences about how I felt about a book.  It will take forever but I have become too complacent to just assign a star rating when I’m done.  I will say in that review why I gave the star rating I did because it might vary from book to book.

(Can you tell that my tumblr is mostly Kpop from all those gifs in a row because I can. Holy Cow.)

Of course my reviews on here will be much more in depth but it will give my five Goodreads followers a better judgement of how I felt, and will help me should I need to remember why I felt a certain way about a book for years to come.  I don’t even mention stars in my in depth reviews because it’s pointless.  You know exactly what I think of a book, four stars aren’t going to give you any better insight into what I thought of a novel than my page of text on the topic.

(Look at all the stars. Ooooh. Pretty.)

Now, there’s more to this topic.  The second half of Barry’s discussion was that if a reviewer only gives high star reviews than there is no way to really tell the difference between an alright book and a fantastic book because there is no disparity in the rating.  The critical reviews help to clear this up but I am definitely guilty of a majority of my reviews being high star ratings.


The thing to add about giving low star reviews, is that if a book is low enough to get that review, it’s highly likely that I won’t finish reading it.  If I am actually not enjoying a book I just put it down and say enough is enough.  What I need to do then is to say on Goodreads and on here that I rated it one or two stars and create a “did not finish” shelf.  That way people know that I wasn’t enjoying it and not that I just forgot about it and read something else instead.  I am not going to be able to post a full review of a book that didn’t merit the time to finish but I will post them on Goodreads and I will talk about them in my wrap up posts because that will even out my spectrum and remove the high star bias.


On another note, one of my friends here at school has started a blog that I think those who read critically will really enjoy.  Casey is currently doing an in depth chapter by chapter read of The Fault in Our Stars by John Green on her blog The Drunk Librarian. I have stolen her idea of gif use in long controversial posts, but she does it much better than I do so go show her some love. I was discussing with her as well as one of my housemates how since coming to college to do my English degree I have lost the ability to just read a book and not think about it critically.  Along with this has been a shift in my reading from young adult and romance novels, which most of the time can’t hold up to scrutiny, to modern classics, adult novels, and literary fiction.  Some might say this is elitist, but I think its just that I can’t enjoy the experience when I feel like the writing isn’t respecting me as a reader.

*spiderman swings away through the city*

I am going to vow to be a critical reader and reviewer and to be honest with my opinions bar none.  I hope you will too, especially if reviewing is more than just a hobby.  I don’t get paid to do this, I do this because I love it.  If I was paid this would be a million times more important.



Monday Musings: The YouTube Consolidation and Recommendation Edition

I’ve mentioned in videos here and there that I am very entwined in the YouTube community and really should make my own videos.  One day that will happen, for now I sit and watch from a distance like a creeper.

When one of my roommates needed some new YouTubers to watch I had to go through mine for suggestions, spoiler alert nothing I watch would be entertaining to her, but I realized I had an incredible amount of subsrciptions.

So I thought that it might be time to go through and clean out the ones that I didn’t watch any more and tell you who I follow.  If I follow them, they are probably quality.  Probably.

I am going to divide the subscriptions up by type of video most commonly made so that you can find something that appeals to you!  The bolded entries are my all time favorites which you should check out regardless of category because either their discussions are on point or their editing makes me the happiest person ever.

Book Vloggers:

abookaffair – Adult and YA reader
adamandkarate – Adult readers
Ariel Bissett – YA reader
Bazpierce – Classics and Adult reader
BonerBookClub – Adult reader
books and pieces – Science Fiction and Fantasy reader
booksandquills – If has words will read
BookTubeAThon – channel for the summer booktubeathon
candysomething – If has words will read
ChapterStackss – Adult reader
Charley Reads – Adult and YA reader
cozyteareads – Adult and YA reader
getbookish – Adult and YA readers
Hello Hemlock – Book Club
insteadofgold – Adult & YA reader
Jean Bookishthoughts – Classic reader
justkissmyfrog – Adult reader
librarianfanmail – Adult reader
Little Book Owl – YA reader
marlinelina – YA reader
mothereffingbooks – Adult & YA reader
PeruseProject – Fantasy & YA reader
polandbananasBOOKS – YA reader
Ron Lit – Classics reader
SableCaught – If book will read
The Readables – YA reader
thebookbasement – YA reader
timelordsandwizards – YA & Adult reader


2MinJinkJongKey – Kpop vloggers
albinwonderland – Anecdote vlogger
AmazingPhil – Anecdote vlogger
Ant (mrheavyhand) – Anecdote vlogger
Anthony D’angelo – Discussion vlogger
charlieissocoollike – Anecdote vlogger
ChewingSand – Anecdote vlogger
danisnotonfire – Anecdote vlogger
DexterityBonus – Coffeh time!
Eat Your Kimchi – Korean Lifestyle vlogger
Elio – Anecdote vlogger
hankschannel – Hank of vlogbrother’s fame addtional channel
Hannah Witton – body positive/sex positive/femenist vlogger
hayleyghoover – body positive/sex positive/femenist vlogger
ItsWayPastMyBedTime – Anecdote vlogger
JackHoward – Anecdote vlogger
Kristina Horner – Anecdote vlogger
Liam Dryden – Anecdote vlogger
Malia AuParis – Advice & Travel vlogger
Mandy – Anecdote vlogger
MichaelJacksonRulesx – This is my younger sister’s channel, isn’t she cool with an x in her name 😛
MissFenderr – Anecdote vlogger plus she has cats!
Mitchell Davis – Anecdote vlogger
MorganPaigeLoves – Anecdote vlogger with terrible puns (beautiful terrible puns)
mugumogu – remember Maru the cat … here’s his channel … there you go!
myrmidryad – I had a hard time placing her but she does anecdotal vlogs and some book related things
Nanalew – Anecdote vlogger
neafcy -Discusses films and popular culture
ninebrassmonkeys – made a really great series talking about YouTube culture A+
Open the Happy – Simon and Martina of eatyourkimchi fame’s bonus channel with random videos like of their pets
Ophelia Dagger – Anecdote vlogger
PirateGray – Anecdote & Advice vlogger
Plus2Joe – Anecdote & Advice vlogger
Rachel & Jun – Japanese Lifestyle vlogger
Rosianna Halse Rojas – Anecdote & Book vlogger
Seoulistic – Korea Lifestyle vlogger
simonandmartinabonus – their channel for bloopers and TL;DR discussions on Korea
T. Michael Martin – Anecdote vlogger
Tessa Violet – Anecdote vlogger & Musician
TheThirdPew – Anecdote vlogger
thisbedottie – Anecdote vlogger
TwentyThirtyTwo – Carrie’s bonus channel
VickyThePixie – Anecdote vlogger
vlogbrothers – John and Hank Green do everything
withVIXX – VIXX video english subtitle channel
zefrank1 – I miss ze!  Funny videos still though
영국남자 – Korean Englishman makes videos about Korea and England in Korean with English Subtitles

Beauty, Fashion & Lifestyle:

Arden Rose 
Claire Marshall
Steve Booker
The Platform


BananaJamana – Painter
Lauren Fairweather – Crafts & advice vlogs
Mary Doodles – Painting & Pen with Paper
ThePortraitART– Portraits


Donal Skehan – If food will make
Feast of Fiction – If FICTIONAL food will make
Food Busker – If STREET food will make
French Guy Cooking – If FRENCH food will make
Gennaro Contaldo – If ITALIAN food will make
Green Kitchen Stories – If HEALTHY/VEGETARIAN/VEGAN food will make
Jamie Oliver – If food will make
JunsKitchen – If JAPANESE food will make
Keryann Dunlop – Food for Families with Kids
Loftus Lens – Food Photography
Maangchi – If KOREAN food will make
Munchies – If RESTAURANT RELATED will make video about
River Cottage – If HEALTHY AND FARM TO TABLE food will make
Tastemade – If food will make
The Chiappas – If ITALIAN food will make
The Dumpling Sisters – If CHINESE DUMPLINGS will make
Tobie Puttock – If food will make
You Are Here Cafe – Videos for the You Are Here Cafe in Korea
밴쯔 – Korean Guy who eats a  mesmerizing amount of food in one sitting


Cox n’Crendor – Animated Clips
Emma Blackery – Comedic Sketches & Vlogs
Evan Edinger – Comedic Sketches & Vlogs
Jack & Dean – Comedic Sketches
mikefalzone – Comedic Anecdotes & Advice

Educational Channels:

ABCsofChinese – self explanatory
How to Adult – self explanatory
lacigreen – Sex positive vide0s
mickeleh – Great Discussion of Pop/Nerd Culture & Current Events
Vivi Mandarin – self explanatory
SciShow – self explanatory
sexplanations – Sexologist
Talk to Me in Korean – self explanatory
thebrainscoop – Biology and Museum Studies Stuff
Vi Hart – Maaaaath
Vivi Korean – self explanatory


Cryaotic – Horror/RPG
DanAndPhilGAMES – If game will game
GamesWithHank – If game will game
Jesse Cox – RPG
Polaris – Maker Studios gamer hub channel/network
PressHeartToContinue – Weird dating sims & craft videos & fandom discussion videos
shegeekshow – Great discussions of the video game industry/game culture
TotalBiscuit – Everything and Anything for review


BriBry – Indie Pop
BridgitMendlerVEVO – Pop
Meghan Tonjes – Acoustic Covers
PlayerPiano – BEAUTIFULLY shot Nerdy music covers done in Cosplay
RealVIXX – *whisper screams* VIXX they make great videos of them being idiots as well as the music videos and such
Rusty Clanton – Acoustic Covers


Emily Diana Ruth
Nessa K Photography


Anna Akana – Science Fiction Films & Advice Vlogs
Bertie Gilbert Films
 – Realistic Fiction Films
KickThePj – Science Fiction/Fantasy Surrealist Films
Wong Fu Productions – Realistic Fiction Films

That’s all folks.  I think you can get a pretty good idea of who it is or rather what it is that I like to watch in my free time.  As I went through my subscriptions I got rid of the ones that I don’t really watch any more that were straggling from my highschool days.  That was probably something I needed to do to clear out my feed a little bit.  In the end it appears that I have 148 subscriptions … when this whole thing started out I had over 200 so I think that was a good clean sweep.

I will talk to you guys again soon!


Monday Musings: Sexual Assault in the YouTube Community

**This post and the videos that I link may be triggering to some.  Reader discretion is advised*

While I do most of my talking here in the blogosphere I am very much entwined in the YouTube community.

I would be a more productive member of that community if I didn’t have mildly terrifying anxiety about putting my face out there, but I have been following and commenting for so long on so many creators in that community that I felt I should through my two cents in on this topic.

Early this year there was a rash of complaints against certain YouTube personalities being accused of sexual assault, abuse, and even rape in some cases.  There are people who were convicted of these crimes.

This past week another round of survivors have come forward to say similar things.

If you would like to know more about the sequence of events I would suggest watching Laci Green’s video on this topic because for me it was the most informative.

It honestly terrifies me when I hear about things like this happening.  I tweeted about this earlier, but it can create this feeling that people can’t be trusted.  I wasn’t a very big fan of any of the people who have been caught in the act so to speak, but thinking about all of the young teenagers who were suddenly having to question their idols.

Let’s be honest some if not all of these men are looked at as idols in some form or another, whether it be to little girls, or boys who are seeing them and wanting to be like them.

It creates this feeling where you suddenly don’t know who to trust.  This is someone you once looked up to, and they are doing such terrible things to people, can you trust anyone?

YouTube in particular creates this emotional attachment with people.  People are literally sharing their lives with you.  You can feel like you would be great friends with these people or even like they are your friends (which is an entirely different topic that worries me as well).

When somebody you look up to suddenly has all of their dirty laundry exposed and you can see just how fake all of these videos have been it can be very painful.

Let alone the trauma that the girls who have come forward had to go through in order to expose what happened to them, and the harassment they no doubt are getting from people who are fans of these creators who would rather tear an already fragile person apart than believe their favorite YouTuber would ever be involved in something like this.

I think the community is doing a lot this time around.  People are choosing to make videos discussing what should be done about it or question why YouTube enables relationships like this.  I’m sure if you go on to YouTube and searched sexual assault you would get a bunch of videos on the subject.

Some of the ones I have liked so far are the videos done by Chelsea (OldHotRadio), Neafcy, Ariel (Ariel Bisset), Lex (tyrannosauruslexxx), librarianfanmail and Lena (justkissmyfrog).

It is important that we talk about this.  It is important that the community of YouTubers brings this to the world at large because it is not just an issue in YouTube.  YouTube definitely enables people who are like this, it gives them easy access and power that they might not otherwise have, but it is definitely not rooted in YouTube alone.  YouTube is a reflection of the world at large.

The community seems to have settled on the conclusion that if a person in our midst makes the decision to be a terrible human being then they are to be shunned from our community and not let back in.  It doesn’t matter if YouTube was their job.  They have hurt the people that they were supposed to protect and that is unforgivable.

I fear that putting this post up will open myself up to all kinds of attacks, but I think that this conversation needs to leave the YouTube community.  It needs to be brought into the real world, and while this isn’t the real world per say, it is another platform.

If you want to know how something like this affects a real person I suggest watching Morgan’s video.  She discusses her own experience and how it relates to her.  However, it is extremely painful to watch because she does not edit it.  She shows exactly what this is doing to her.  The video is unscripted and filled with emotion.  If you don’t think you can handle it then perhaps avoid it entirely.

I would like to send internet hugs and strength to all of the girls who have stepped forward and spoken about their abuse as well as to those who have yet to find the strength to talk, perhaps one day you will but we aren’t asking you to.  I want these people to heal.  This is the first priority.

We need to make our community safe, and while that is difficult, it is necessary.

Hopefully I can come back later in the week with something a little lighter.  I didn’t post my planned Sunday Spam yesterday because I didn’t feel like discussing silly Kpop videos when something so heavy was happening in my little piece of the internet.


YouTube, Web Series, and Being Funny

So for almost a year now, I have wanted to start making videos on the YouTubes.  For all of that time, I haven’t.  I identify myself as an incredibly artistic person.  I love to create new things and last year while working on a video project for one of my classes I realized that I really enjoyed editing videos.  The most tedious and perhaps annoying part of video making was fun for me because I could work on transitions, on cutting the recording in a way that was coherent, and on making something look good.  I really enjoyed it.

The problem being that I had no idea what type of videos I would make.  I looked to the people I follow on the site.  If you break up my subscriptions you would see that I love to watch vloggers and sketch artists, I watch a fair amount of cooking channels, gamers, and many parts of booktubia.  I have an interest in all of these places but I don’t think that I could do something in any of these places.

I thought perhaps I could have a book channel but I don’t read often enough to put out book reviews, I don’t have enough money to constantly be buying new books, and when I do read a book often I find myself going yeah it was good the characters were rich the plot had a minimal number of holes but I’m not really saying anything.  I’m not sure anything I have to say could make someone want to read a book more than that book says for itself.  I wish I could just hold up a book and say, “Get a copy and start reading it.”

I looked next to the cooking shows.  While I love to cook I am at college and there for cooking is out of the question.  Perhaps once or twice a semester I will go to the grocery store and make myself a dinner but it really isn’t a thing I could do often.  I definitely could not afford all of the groceries necessary for the channel.  In no way am I a practiced chef either.  Nothing I would make would be something that people couldn’t find the same way I did.

I am very much a gamer but I am not hard core enough.  I play games occaisonally but I’m not a completionist I play the game for the story.  I don’t play to win most of the time.  I also don’t rate my games.  I don’t think about games in that way.  I would have the similar problem as I would with the books of just wanting to hold the game up and say, “Play it, you won’t regret it.  Don’t ask me why, just do it.”  These items should speak for themselves.  If it sounds interesting.  Try it.  You don’t need to watch me playing it because I might not play it the way you would and that would only frustrate you.  Play it yourself.

I was down to my last category. Those vloggers and sketch comedians.  I would love to do that.  A lot of my friends say that I have a good sense of humor   I think I have to much dignity to actually put that out there though.  I couldn’t dress up in costumes and be silly because it would embarrassed me.  I am not saying that sketch artists don’t have humility because they do.  I’m just saying that I most likely have too much.  As far as a straight vlogger goes.  I don’t think my life is interesting enough yet.  I have stories, but none of them are really worth telling.  At least I don’t think so.

Here is the dilemma and here comes the idea.

I have recently just started watching several web series.  A fictional story like a television show, but shown in smaller more intimate chunks.  Some using the traditional forms of YouTube others looking much more like a show in its own right.  This sparked an idea.

I could write a vlog about a fictional world and put that out into the internet.  I could pretend I had an interesting life.  Well not me persay but somebody.  The problem now is that I have an idea but have fallen into my own classic trap.  Is it good enough?

More often than not I hold myself to high standards.  I want to make something that people will look at and say is good.  The problem is that I am very rarily proud of the things I make. I can recognize what other people see in it but I also know what it could be.  The thing I make might look bright and shiny to everyone on the outside but the thing that I tried to replicate out of my head pales in comparison to the original.

I don’t want to make something that people won’t like but I also want to make something I like.  The idea that I have been mulling over I would enjoy making but I don’t know if anyone would enjoy watching.  I need to have both ends of the equation.  Perhaps I just need to work on it and make it.  I can qualify it as practice for something greater later on in life.  We will see.  We will see.